Questions to ask on a senior living tour

Before you go: know what you're looking for

Assisted living supports people who benefit from help with daily activities like bathing, dressing or medications, while still living with a good deal of independence. Memory care is a more specialized setting for people living with Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, with staff training, layouts and programming built around cognitive support. If you're still deciding between the two, read assisted living vs memory care first. It shapes which questions matter most.

Bring a notebook or use your phone. After two or three visits, communities start to blur together.

Care and staffing

• How are care plans created, and how often are they reviewed?
• Who does the assessment before move-in, and what does it cover?
• How many staff are on duty during the day, and how does that change overnight?
• How long have the executive director and care leaders been here?
• What happens if a health concern comes up after hours?
• How are medications managed and recorded?
• What happens if needs increase? Can care be adjusted here, or would a move be needed?
• Is nursing, therapy or a visiting physician available on site? How does the team work with outside doctors?
• How and how often will the team update our family?

Daily life and dining

• What does a typical day look like? Can we see this month's activity calendar?
• How are activities chosen, and do residents have a say?
• Are there outings, and is transportation provided for appointments?
• How are meals served? Are there choices at each meal?
• How are dietary needs and preferences handled?
• Can family members join for meals or events?
• Are there outdoor spaces residents can use on their own?

Residences

• What residence types are available (studio, one-bedroom), and which are open now?
• Can residents bring their own furniture and decorate?
• What safety features are in each residence, such as call systems and grab bars?
• Is housekeeping and laundry included, and how often?
• Are pets allowed?

Costs and contracts

• What is included in the monthly rate, and what is billed separately?
• How is the cost of care set, and what changes it?
• Is there a community fee or deposit at move-in?
• How much notice is given before a rate change?
• What is the notice period if a resident moves out?
• Do you work with VA Aid and Attendance benefits, long-term care insurance or bridge loans?
• Can we take a copy of the residency agreement home to read?

Our paying for senior living guide explains the options families use most.

Memory care questions

For memory care, ask additional questions about dementia training, communication, daily routines and secure access.

• What dementia care training do staff receive, and is it ongoing?
• How does the team respond to agitation, sleep changes or other behavior changes?
• How is programming adapted for residents at different stages of dementia?
• How do you support residents who have limited verbal communication?
• How is the community secured, and how do residents get outside safely?
• Do residents see the same caregivers day to day?
• How are families included in care planning?

Listen to how staff answer as well as what they say. Comfort with the subject, specific answers and a tone that shows real familiarity with dementia care are all good signs.

What to notice while you're there

• How staff speak with residents when they are not leading your tour. Is it warm and unhurried, or rushed?
• Whether residents have choices, receive support when needed and can spend time with others or on their own.
• Natural light, noise level and how easy it is to find your way around.
• The dining room: how food is served, whether residents have choices, and how the room feels.
• Cleanliness and smell in shared spaces and hallways.
• Whether the activity calendar matches what is actually happening.
• Whether your questions get direct answers.
• For memory care: clear signs and cues, secure outdoor areas, and spaces that feel homelike rather than institutional.

Bringing your parent along

If your parent can join the tour, their reaction matters. Do they seem at ease? Do they connect with anyone they meet? Even someone who may not fully follow the purpose of the visit can show how a space feels to them. Framing the visit as a shared look rather than a decision already made can help them feel included. If they are weighing independent living too, our guide to independent living vs assisted living may help.

After the tour

Write down your impressions the same day: how staff spoke to residents, whether your questions were answered directly, how the dining room felt, and the overall pace of the day. Weigh those notes alongside the practical details, like the care approach and how the community handles changing needs. A second visit at a different time of day, or a meal, can confirm a first impression.