Respite stays: a break that helps everyone

Caring for someone living with dementia can involve help throughout the day and night. A respite stay gives a family caregiver time to rest, travel or recover while their loved one receives care in a community.

When families use a respite stay

• The family caregiver needs rest, or is burning out
• A trip, a wedding or a work commitment is coming up
• The caregiver is having surgery or recovering from an illness
• The family wants to see whether memory care is the right next step, without committing to a move

What a stay usually includes

A respite guest lives in the community like any resident, with the same team, meals and activities. At Barton House in Scottsdale, that means:

• Stays from a few days to several weeks
• A private studio
• Three chef-prepared meals a day, plus snacks
• Round-the-clock support from staff trained in memory care
• The full activity calendar, and enclosed gardens and walking paths

Who pays for respite

Most families pay for a respite stay privately. A few other sources can help in some cases:

• Medicare does not pay for room and board in assisted living or memory care, including respite stays. Its only respite benefit is for people on hospice, when the hospice team arranges a short inpatient stay in an approved facility.
• Long-term care insurance policies sometimes cover respite. Check the policy or call the insurer.
• The VA offers respite care to enrolled veterans who meet clinical criteria, at home, in adult day programs or in nursing homes. Ask a VA social worker what is available locally.
• Local caregiver programs, such as Area Agencies on Aging and the Alzheimer's Association, sometimes offer respite grants or can point you to them.

How to plan a stay

1. Call early. Respite depends on availability, so ask as soon as you know your dates.
2. Share the routine. Favorite foods, music, the time they like to wake up and what helps on a hard afternoon all help the team from day one.
3. Bring familiar things. A favorite blanket, photographs and a few well-loved clothes make a new room feel like theirs.
4. Plan how you'll stay in touch. Ask how phone and video calls work and how the team will keep you posted.
5. Let yourself rest. The point is a real break for you.

Using a respite stay to decide about memory care

A stay of a week or two shows how your loved one settles into a new routine, and lets you see the team and the setting up close. Some families find it makes a later move easier, because the place and the faces are already familiar. Our guide on when it may be time for memory care can help you think it through.